Am I Good?

Someone recently pointed out to me that they thought themselves to be 98% good. I found that very surprising. I thought three things initially about this person telling me this. First, I thought that they were saying that they were 2% away from being perfect which I would definitely disagree with. Second, I did not know why they had related good to a percentage, as if there is a certain percentage that is acceptable or preferable to have, and they have that percentage. Lastly, I wondered if the person ever met themselves because after knowing this person for quite some time now, I was in awe at how high they rated themselves. Not to be rude, but to honest; 98% is high for them, for anyone actually, even myself.

I continued to contemplate about this person's confession and had to think more about what I thought about being "good" was, According to Jesus, there is only one who is good. The story starts with someone refering to Jesus as Good Teacher but Jesus dismisses their question to ask them why they called him good, saying only the father is good. Interesting, very interesting. Only God is good? That is a very high standard to live up to. Based on that alone, I don't know how anyone can consider themselves good. But I would say that good is too small of a word for God, that it was meant for us feeble humans. Perhaps the word good was mistranslated as often happens with our difficult English. Another verse came to mind when I thought about being good. Paraphrasing, its says a man may think his way is right [good], but his path leads to death. Is this person thinking that they are good on the path to death? The word death makes this seem so dramatic, and also (again) interesting. I wonder if I think that I'm doing good, but really am lost.

I would usually describe myself as a decently good person, but probably not simply, good. Though I would say that I make mostly good choices in my life, but I don't think that I am good. Maybe mostly good. But I think that there is a different issue that is almost opposite of those who think they are "good," that I sometimes may fall under. Its the issue that people think, "I know I'm not good, and never can be fully such, and since there is nothing I can do to be good, why try?" And those people may go along simply doing what ever pleases them (whether that is "good" or "bad" actions) and not strive for something. Is that just as bad as those who think they are good? Maybe. Is there a difference between good people and being good? I'm beginning to think I am over analyzing the idea of being good. But maybe my point is to show that there is a fine line between saying that we are good, and being conceited while walking down the wrong path. This make me think I need to reevaluate myself.

They Don't Understand

I recently met a family whose heart is completely immersed into missionary work. As I walked all around their home, I saw pictures of other families that they knew that were off in other countries. When talking to the mother of this family, we talked about the experiences that they and the other families had while out in the field. The people that go out there see miracles happen in small and large ways. They have close encounters with death, they lead people to Christ, they go to places that most people will never be able to even pronounce, then its time to come home. When they prepare to go home they reminisce on what home was like, the people around them, what they used to do for fun and how excited they were to continue those traditions upon their return. Except there was a problem when they returned, the traditions they once had are no longer what they used to be, the people they enjoyed the company of are not the same people they once spent time with and home doesn't have the same feel to it They came home with expectations of being able to enjoy some of their favorite past times, but those past times do give them the same feel that they missed when they were abroad. Something happened while they were gone; life happened, just as they experienced life away, the people they missed experienced their own life and had become new people that have grown without their missionary friends around.

This is where the meat of my conversation with the mother began. The transition home for the missionaries can some times be very difficult. They come home expecting it to be the way they left it, they expected people to have missed them and want to hear their stories, but not always is it that way. For some reason many times when they come home, people ask how their trip was but don't truly want to know but are doing such to be merely polite. Its as if they are asking while walking in the other direction, wanting a quick answer as they continue going on their way. A life altering experience cannot be said in a moment's word. Even when there are those who genuinely interested in hearing their story, they don't completely understand what happened there because they cannot relate to it. Only other missionaries can understand what really happened out there. People who have gone through what they have done, pored their lives into what they did there, can truly understand the change that happened in their lives. Their experience draws them together in a way that others may never know.

This makes me think about the experiences of life that we go through. Though it may not be a long missionary journey to another country, we do experience life changes through events that happen. I can say that through a study abroad that I have done, I have been able to have a such an experience that not many understand what I went through and can completely appreciate it unless they went through it. Those who did go through it know the feeling of the experience and can sit and talk away the hours of memories of what happened. These encounters pull us together though we may have never known each other. It is a hidden attraction to one another, and everyone else just stands on the outside looking in. Why does this happen? because the people that experience this crave other who have done the same and can relate to them, who listen to them and understand them.

Though people on the outside may try, there is something that blocks them from the comprehension of an experience. But that should not stop them from listening to their friend's experience, even pretending to be interested for a time places a smile on their face. Showing those who have been gone that they have been missed, and they will open up and share that experience with them. The wall of not being able to understand slowly falls down with each story that is told. Though complete understand may never be reached, at least a distant friend felt they were home when among their friends again.

To Travel the World

Over the past week I’ve traveled from one end of the country to the other side and back again. Currently, I’m on a train going from one end of my state to the other. Traveling has become a bit of a habit. I remember when I was younger that I would want to travel and see places that I have not been to; I wanted to see the world, and all that it has to offer. I always thought I should start with my own country, which is rather big in itself, and see what new and interesting people would cross may path as I travel around. As I’ve been going here and there, I’ve noticed that I have been truly fortunate on my travels. I’ve been on two trips to the other side of our country, one to Atlanta, Georgia the other to Charlotte, North Carolina and the payment for it never came out of my pocket. No I am not a clever thief, but a fortunate man who has been favored by God. It is amazing to think that those trips I have had to pay for nothing. With airports always raising their prices its amazing to have had such a blessing of having my dream of traveling provided for, especially when both of these travels were not necessarily a part of my long term plans but came quickly and were surprises that needed quick planning. It seems the prayers I had as a child are coming to be answered. It makes me think that though I may not see a quick answer to my prayers, in due time they come. Perhaps, God is just waiting for me to be ready to move to where He provides. These travels have come in opportunities that were unexpected and exciting, which makes me look forward to the travels of my future, the ones that are planned, and the ones that are fun surprises. Either way, God is answering the prayers I had as a child.

Anniversary!

Happy Anniversary! It has been one year since I started this blog. To me, it is odd to think about. I honestly do not remember what I was thinking when I started this, but so far it has been fun! Thank you for reading this, I truly appreciate it. Now to actually say something...
Currently, I'm writing this in a library at the university that I attend. I have to say that I am not a big fan of libraries, they just seem so odd to me. Perhaps it is because they are always so large and everything is always where I can't seem to find it! Recently a friend showed me the orderly system that they have set up in almost all libraries. I find that fascinating! Everything is in the neatly organized system that I cannot really understand from the position that I put myself in. It makes me also think about seeing the earth from an airplane. As you get higher and higher you can see the formation of the ground, the large squares that everything seems to be in. We don't notice it because of the position were in. Makes me think about how we all have a place to be. We can get lost, side tracked or put aside, but eventually we'll be put back to where we should be. Like the library book system, some things may get out of order and make life a little more difficult, but at some point, we get back into our spot were comfort, safety and security is there waiting for us. Maybe its the adventure of being put out of position that helps us to appreciate where we are.

Little Victories

Each day can be filled with little victories that make life a little more exciting. I'd say that these victories are ones that no one else can appreciate like you can. It can be something personal that no one else may notice or understand. Just the other day, I had one of these little victories. At work, for quite some time now, my favorite dustpan and broom was missing. (*side note* I currently work at a place where there is a coffee shop, deli, grill and quikimart all next to each other in one building) I had been stuck using different ones which are lower grade and were not as easy to be used. It wasn't making life terrible, but just not as easy. But, one day as I am looking for the broom and dustpan, I notice that the coffee shop manager had my favorite dustpan and broom. Slyly I walk over and grab the precious items, and ask the manager if they were using it. And once I heard them say no, a loud cheer went off in my head. I had found my broom and dust pan from the clutches of the unknown. (I no longer trust the coffee shop people, since I found them with my cherished possessions. just kidding...) I told a friend about this happening, they did not seem to have the same excitement that I had for finding what was lost. It was a little victory, something that helped me get through my shift with a little more excitement. Though it wasn't the big "thing" that kept me going for the rest of my day, it was something that made me smile when I needed to.

Encouragement

I find few things more encouraging that hearing that someone is praying for you. Life seems to be going better when I hear that; I feel like I can make it through a rough time once I hear that. There something about it that makes you feel like someone cares for you. Whether or not the person is close to you or you still communicate with the person, its still encouraging. As I rolled into my apartment last night, I was talking to one of my roomies who told me about his time with a professor that I one had. He mentioned my name to the professor and the professor immediately smiled. "That guy is a crazy guy!" said the professor, "I have him on my prayer list." Upon hearing this I had such a large smile on my face because I had the feeling that someone cares enough for me to take out time to pray specifically for me. I know that there are people that pray for me all the time (family and people from my church group) but to have it come from someone that I didn't realize would do that for me. It's comforting, especially when going through difficult times, it good to know there is someone out there praying for you.
I have a list on the right side of my computer (because I use it so much) posted on a "post-it" of people, groups, places to pray for. For me its simple and easy because I see it every time I open my computer, and I take a moment to say a prayer for them. Every once in a while, I let the people know that I am praying for them; I encourage them. A moment of prayer is all it takes to let someone know you care.