The Art of Dressing Up

There are days where I feel like dressing up into something a little more fancy. That might considered a "girl-type" thing to do, but I don't care, I want to look [even more] amazingly great [than I do everyday] sometimes. I was not trying to dress up for anyone or to fit any obligation that I needed to do, but dressing up just for the sake of it. I feel like its necessary to do this every so often. I think that it build confidence in oneself when you dress up because you look at yourself in the mirror and think you look good, so you feel good, and when you feel good, you hold yourself high and walk with more confidence than any regular day.

The other day when I dressed up, I happened to be going into San Francisco for the day just to enjoy my day off of work. When I was out there, I found myself really finding myself wanting to do nothing more than just walk around and enjoy the city life, the people and its places that it had to offer. But it was raining. Yet, despite the water raining on my parade, I walked around and loved it. I had dressed up to go walking around, so I did, and I didn't let the buckets of H2O falling down on me discourage me. I place this confidence on dressing up, I didn't want to go inside and hide myself. I didn't care that I looked completely wet, I was still happy with doing what I wanted to do, because I had dressed up.

My Book

So I decided I am going to write a book. Truthfully, I decided quite a while ago, but yesterday I decided that I was actually going to begin writing it. I'll be blogging a little here and there about the process of it. I'm actually pretty excited about it, I just wonder if anyone is going to read it. I hope it becomes a likable book, and that some will read it. I think the theme of the book is one that isn't hit as much as other themes, but its a secret. Only a few actually know what the book will be about, for those of you who want to know, you'll just have to wait till the finished product comes out....whenever that may be.

Wish me Luck!

Something is Missing

Today on my day off from work, I sat in one of my favorite coffee shops, Mr. Toot's Coffee Shop in Capitola, Ca. One of my favorite places to be is in a coffee shop that has a homey feeling. The openness of coffee shops allows me to often be open with myself and what is going on in my life. Slowly, as I sat there, a strange feeling of desire crept into mind. I began to miss so many different people that I haven't been able to see or speak to in a while. Immediately I went on facebook and wrote on many people's wall's explaining that I missed them and wanted to see them, or even just say hi to them. Then I began to think about my family, and how much I miss them. I wanted to go to them hug them and tell them I love them and explain to them that I truly appreciate their place in my life. Then my heart drifted to my brother. He has been gone for a little over 10 years now, I begin to think about what his life would be like. Would he be married and with children? What would his favorite type of coffee be? Who would he be his favorite musical artist right now be? Where would he be living? Would he be proud of the different accomplishments I've had the good fortune of achieving? How much time would I spend talking to him? I'm not much of a crying person, or someone that opens up a lot, but at this time, I'm holding back a river of tears, and I needed to tell someone that I miss him. Thanks for listening.

Father's Day

30 years ago today, my father celebrated Father's Day for the time as a dad. No longer was he celebrating his dad, but he was being celebrated for who he was. At that time he had only one child, a beautiful baby girl, named Angelita. It was the next step of producing a family of his own. Two years after that, he would be celebrating with another child in his life, a little baby boy named after himself and his dad, Gilbert Felipe. With this new edition to the family he came to the realization that his actions now had more weight than ever, because he saw that the next generation of his family would carry on what he acted out around them. Who he was, they would be. This was his turning point where he turned from a dad to a Father. It was no more of the simple biological connection that he had, but a life choice that he now would be a father. He changed who he was to be the man in these children's lives who would provide food when hungry, water when thirsty, comfort when brokenhearted, and above all love in every moment. By the grace of the Lord, he was a good father to these children. He did his best to be what they needed him to be. And with a passion unknown to those without children, he loved them, with all his heart. Nine years after his second child, I was born. A new child, different from the others that he had came into his life and with arms wide open, he welcomed me with the same love that he gave my older siblings. 20 years later, I know my father loves me, no matter what I do, say, think, he loves me. His love for me has shown the love of the Lord for his followers, and what a precious gem I am with all my imperfections, blemishes, mistakes and flaws. That is the difference between being a Dad and a Father, the choice to stay present in their lives and love relentlessly, as our Father has done for us.

Livin the Dream!

We have a saying at the college that I go to when we talk about how we are doing. When someone ask how are you doing the response would be "I'm living the dream." It a fun way to make the life of papers, 3 hour classes and the everyday schedule seem a little more exciting. I began to think about this line that has started. I really enjoy saying this when someone asks me how I'm doing, even though I'm not really living my dream. But when I say that I find this exciting, I mean that it makes me feel like I'm actually living the way I want to live, that I'm choosing to live the way I am. Then I think about my living situation. Right now my living situation is me being one of seven people staying in a double wide, where we are only a few steps away from our work and are just on the edge of the beautiful Santa Cruz, Ca. Its a good life, that I'm enjoying a lot. Though its not my dream life, it is a good life that I live. It makes me think about John 10.10 when Christ says talks about life and how he came to give us a life that is full. And though he may have been talking about life in heaven, its easy to see that he could have meant that he wants our life to be full here on earth. And I really like that idea. I may not be living the dream life right now, but I can definitely say that I'm living a full life.

Dreaming With A Broken Heart

Over the past few days, tragedy has hit. A breakup of a couple, a dog put down and a death of a father. All bearing weight on the hearts of those effected by the loss. I've been in these type situations before, and in all these situations, sleep can be hard to come by. Tears often fill up the time it takes to fall asleep as one lies in bed and loneliness flutters in with the ever so burning question of "Why?" in the mind, further distracting the body from sleep. But as we sleep there seems to be a peace. I think it because while you sleep you dream, and while you dream, everything is okay again. In a dream world, things are back to normal, those whom are lost are gained once again. Its a beautiful, deceitful time. The mind plays tricks, but the heart enjoys it. Times like these I often enjoy reading the words of David in the Psalms. Many of the Psalms are ones that are of heart break, despair and pain. David cries out to God in every moment of pain that he enters knowing full well that he will be given help, and though it may take time to heal, he isn't doing it alone. It may be awhile until he can truly appreciate a blessing in the day, but at least until then as he relies on God, he can enjoy the blissfulness of a night's dream.

Shooting Stars

Tonight, I went for a walk at night with a friend and discussed different things of life during the walk. What we were blessed to see was multiple shooting stars throughout the night. It was fascinating to see stars streaking across the night sky at such an amazing pace. Appearing out of no where and seeming to disappear into the same nothingness that it came from. It was beautiful, absolutely beautiful. Thank you God for letting me see that.

GNO

There seems to be times designated for people to go out and have fun. We call that Guy's night out. Actually, its more precisely called 'Night without Girls.' Where I work, our group has a night dedicated to the sexes separated and getting away. Its fine and all, but honestly its geared towards girls. Only girls want to just get away from boys and spend time with just girls. Guys don't often do that. Maybe they get away once every once in a while for a drink and poker night. But there are only three guys here, so we don't really need to get away together. We already spend most of our time together anyway. But, we went out anyways and had a night of misfortunes. It was rather sad. But like the fun guys we are, we decided to make the most of it and turn it into a good time!

Sometimes I wonder if Jesus ever had Guy's Night Out (GNO) with his disciples. They were always traveling together among other people and maybe they needed some nights where they can just get away. Perhaps its rather odd to think about such, but I think that since Jesus came down to show us how to be human, maybe he wanted to show us how to have fun too. Or maybe I'm trying to stretch this out a little too much. Either way, I think a GNO with Jesus would be hilarious and fun.

A Living Learning Community

For almost two weeks now, I've been living in a double wide with what started out with 3 other people. Now things have changed to make me one of six that live in here. With another arriving today and one more who is always in our house, it seems that the eight of us are going to be getting to know each other really well. Now that I think about it, there is even a 9th person coming in after that some time later this month. 9 people, one roof, lots of fun, lots of learning.

Since I've been at this place before some of the others, it is interesting to see how the dynamics have changed with each person added. First there was comfort in having only 4 people living together. It was easy to get up and travel together, or plan where we want to go because there is only 4 people to please. Next we added two and the dynamics changed. I have to admit that I was comfortable in the situation with four people, but with six it gets a little complicated. Only a certain car can be driven, with only one driver, going out to eat gets a little stressing with certain eating habits of the new comers and trying to please everyone. Then there is always the chance of one person being favored in the group a others slightly being pushed out. When there is a small group, no one should be out of the group. With the addition of another today, things will change and new dynamic will enter our house. But I think thats where the learning is.

When there are more people in an area, there are more desires, more issues to deal with, more characters in a group. Its not a bad thing, its a great thing because everyone is so amazingly different. I wont always have the chance to live with people that may or may not think, believe, act, talk or work like me. In the not too distant, but distant enough, future I'll have a place of my own and then after that I'll be living with the love of my life. But right now is the time where I can soak up information from other people and see which way of life works for them as I find out what works for me. I think living with different people is a great way to experience people that God made. Its like looking at a different aspect of God. Each person He created has a different reflection of Him, and living with multiple people allows me to see Him in many new ways.

Writer's Block

I really want to talk about something, but I cannot think of what. This is funny because I feel like i'm always looking at things and thinking about how I should write about them. Often times at night before I can fall asleep I debate in my mind what would be a good post for the next day about what I did the all that day, but when I wake in the morning, I forget what I want to write about. Times like these I go and update my Words On a Page & Pictures pages (you can click them at the top of page if you wish to see them.) Hopefully I'll find something to write about soon.