Prayer Partner

The group that I am working with is also a ministry. When we had our first Bible study together we did something that I have not done before with any other ministry. We did prayer partners. We drew names out of a hat and whoever we chose we were going to pray with. My partner was Cherry Flame (we came up with nik names for each other, i'm Brown Shugar aka B. Shug) and we decided to go out for a walk and talk about what we needed prayer for. This whole process was actually quite exciting. I really enjoy walks, especially at night because the beauty of the night sky opens and the way that any light shines allowing so much to be seen from so little light. As a person who does not really open up to many people, I think that the openness of a walk allows for people to open up and say the truth. My partner and I were able to converse about the situations we are in, the expectations we have and the all that is at hand for this summer. As we circled the camp, we find a spot under a street light to sit, and after we had just spoken what was on our minds, we stopped and prayed for all of it right there. They were simple prayers for one another, and sometimes its the simplicity that makes everything great. A simple walk, a simple prayer, a simple memory I will keep.

Home is Where the Heart Is

Currently, I'm sitting on the couch of my new summer home in Watsonville, Ca listening to the sounds of the house as it creaks in various places. After a wonderful dinner with good company at Santa Cruz Diner sharing countless laughs with those that I'll be spending my summer with, I returned to my living quarters and began to sit and imagine what this summer is going to be. I left home yesterday to a job that has potential to be stressful with so much needing to be done constantly, to friends new and old to create bonds and live life with, and to an opportunity to minister to others who are in need of ministry. I left home yesterday strangely craving to spend more time among my family despite there being turmoil at hand and uneasiness in the air. When I left home yesterday, to me it seemed like I left in an odd time because I oddly felt that my time there was not sufficient, that I did not spend enough time there and that I am missing out on not being there. For a person that no longer spends much time at my parents place, visiting about 3 times a year: for Christmas/New Years time, Mother's day and my mothers birthday, (I wouldn't dare miss those last two dates, unknown dangers would definitely occur!) being away from home has become, in many ways, home. So this peculiar desire to be home, seems unnatural and out of place for me. But perhaps this is me learning what being homesick really is. Maybe I'm learning where my heart actually is, and since my mind is already there, my body is wanting to be there too.

On the Horizon

There come moments when you can feel change on the rise. Somehow when you look at the horizon you know that with the new day, something else new is coming. Its there, real and tangible. Despite what may be the present situation, despite all previous actions, despite what is known, there is still an awareness that something is about to happen that is going to be unsuspectingly great. I'm in that moment and feeling right now. I don't know what is going to happen, but I can feel something is going to change for the better.

APOCALYPSE NOW!

I've been seeing many billboards lately saying that judgement day will begin tomorrow. So, just in case it actually will be, its been a pleasure, and thank you for reading my blog. I hope you've enjoyed reading as much as I've enjoyed writing. Thank you

Now to continue writing what may be my last post, but more than likely it will not be. Even if the world would end tomorrow, via zombies, earthquakes, tsunamis (why is there a t at the beginning?), fire or something we may not have heard of before I'd more than likely try to sneak one more post in here. =] But what I did want to say is that it has seem to become trendy to speak about apocalypse these days. First there was the Y2K where all the computers would apparently shut down and ruin the world because they could not handle the number 2000. (I think we would have been just fine without computers back then, we did not rely on them as much as we do today. Maybe if computers failed to work today we would be more in a bit of a pickle.) Also, this didn't not make too much sense because there is no reason why a computer would not be able to compute a new number, because that is what they are made to do. Right..? Then a new date came, December 21st 2011! The new apocalypse day sponsored by the Mayan Calendars, was even boosted by the terrible thriller 2012 (which me and some friends had the idea of watching at midnight and did unfortunately.) After that, familyradio bought thousands of posters and got people everywhere confessing that the end of the world will start tomorrow and end Oct 21, 2012. Funny that the end of the world takes a full 5 months to happen. I am greeted by these signs every time I enter my little town and I wonder, how can someone set a day and time for the Apocalypse when people on the other side of the earth will be experience May 22nd as we go through our 21st? Though I don't really believe that it will all come down tomorrow, it does make me think.

It says in the Bible that the Lord will come like a thief in the night, in the twinkling of an eye, and that no one knows the day nor the hour when He will return for his people, not even Jesus himself claims to know the answer, buy God alone. I've been thinking, that I know that our days are limited, and though I doubt tomorrow is our last day, I would rather take a moment to make myself right with God today and be safe than to be sorry tomorrow. I also think that since I never know when the Lord is coming, why should I limit myself to making myself right with God on one night? I think that from now on, my prayers are going to be said with a bit more honesty and care, because I sincerely do not want to be left here on the earth when the Lord takes up his beloved. I'd much rather be with Him. I know I'm going to be, but there is no harm in saying a prayer one more time.

The Confidence of a Child

I'm currently sitting next to a little boy who, as he just told and showed me, is 5 years old and has amazing powers. I was not necessarily in a mood to talk to anyone, simply wanting to sit and enjoy my drink and computer time, but this boy did not care, he was determined to talk to me and tell me about his himself and his powers. First, I found he had three toys with him, small action figures of superheroes: The Flash, Batman and, his favorite, Sports Master (who is that!?! and what kind of a name is Sports Master for a superhero???) He then told me that he can stand on his hands, run fast and even breathe fire out of his nose! My favorite though is when he told me that he can fly. I gave him a surprised look and said, "Really?", he laughed and said, "Why are you surprised? Of course I can, my dad taught me." Over time, as he ate his Little Caesar's pizza and bread sticks, I got to see to know a lot about this boy, but the trait I think I liked best about him was his confidence. He would laugh at things that were going on in his head and when I looked at him he didn't care that I starred at him. When he showed me his strength of picking up a stack of chairs with only his pinky finger, he acted like he actually did it and if I questioned his strength he would have called me crazy! He came and sat down next to me as if he belonged there and talked to me as if he was a long time friend. It was fascinating the time I spent with him. I honestly wish I could have his confidence when I walked into foreign places and spoke with people that I did not know when I walked in. He looked, walked, talked as if he own the place ans no one could tell him others wise. That is the type of confidence that I want in my life.

My Simple Porch

I sat out on my porch this afternoon and played my ukulele and sang of the rain that poured down a foot away from me. It was absolutely lovely. As a person that thoroughly enjoys the rain and sitting out on a porch, it was a good time for me. The smell of the rain blown in by the cool wind was all about me giving me a refreshing breath of air. The sound of the ukulele chimed beautifully with the rain pattering down as the consistent beat. Though my arms were cold from being outside with only a t-shirt, my heart was warmed from the moment; and though I played in the middle of a personal trial, I had a smile on my face. I was having the time of my life, sitting on my porch, with my dogs besides me. For that time, I was able to finally able to relax and enjoy the moment with all issues away from my mind. It was simple but beautiful.

Can You Hear Me Now?

I kinda don't like to repeat myself very often. Especially when I know a person is completely not listening to me in the middle of a conversation I'm having with them and they don't excuse themselves. I know that things come up and conversations need to be interrupted sometimes for important reasons, but I'm not talking about those times. I'm talking about the slightly important conversation that gets interrupted by the other person not caring or showing no will to listen to what I have to say. I find it so dehumanizing and degrading; I am not sure why people cannot be more intentional with listening. Are they purposefully trying to spite me? Are my words really not that important because I'm not in a high position in their minds? I was in the grocery store with someone who apparently found the vegetables better conversationalist than me. I was thinking, "Why are bell peppers more important than the human next to you?!" This is something that really bothers me. Yes my conversation was not life changing or life and death situation, but it was of importance to me in the discussion that I thought I was having with this person.

Unfortunately, there are two sides to this coin. I often catch myself being distracted away from the conversations I'm having with people, even if the conversation is interesting or if the other person is telling me something important to them and I have to step away from them. I think about the feelings that I get from this happening to me, and wonder if they feel the same way when I do that to them. I want them to know that what they say has relevance and that I do want to listen to them. I want to let them know that they are more important than bell peppers! (even though they may not know what i mean when I say that) I want to look at them and them that they are important to me and I want to listen to every word that drips out of their mouth when we're discussing something, but I feel that sometimes my actions would make me a hypocrite and they wouldn't listen because of that. Sometimes, I get caught looking at bell peppers instead of the human next to me. I'm regretful. I know the feeling, and rather not pass it on.

Next time, please listen for those moments when someone is talking. They'll appreciate being more important than bell peppers.

Something to Hold

Recently, I returned to my parent's house, to spend time with them before I leave again and go off to work for the summer. It was nice to be around my family and celebrate my mom for mother's day. I went into my room and found it, not quite the way I left it. My bed was gone, replaced with a futon, I had a coffee table places in the middle of the room and my desk is filled with my dad's paperwork with my computer fluttered with his new files. Things were missing and there were new items in their place. But thats what happens sometimes, the new replaces the old. But as it was time for me to clean out my belongings that I had left there, I noticed things that were very old. Some of these possessions that I've had for years, I have not even used for almost as many years as they have been there. Many are ones that I've be given from people or inherited from others that I accepted with intention to use, but I simply did not get around to it. There are other things that I have kept for memories. I have a series of baseball cards that are all of Ricky Henderson when he was in New York. I'm not even a big fan of baseball, and I hardly know who Mr. Henderson is (besides the time I happened to run into him at Disneyland.) Yet, I still have it in my possession. I'm not really the type of person that would keep anything that I do not use. I am definitely not a hoarder! But I still have quite a few things like this Ricky Henderson collectors item around my room. I realized that I've kept all of these things for a reason. Each of these things hold a special memory to me that I do not want to let go of quite yet.

I began to think about how possessions can be a representation of people when they can no longer be around those who want to remember them. The people are gone for different reasons, job, school, moved, holiday and sometimes unfortunately, death. But in any these situations people leave behind others who can no longer be with them. They are not physically there, which can make things difficult for those who have been left behind. I think that the reason why people have keepsakes is because they are tangible items that can be held when a person the care for is not around to fill the position. There is importance to presence and touch that people may not always realize. Even for those people whose number one love language is not quality time or physical touch, both presence and touch still matter. There is something about those two qualities that allows people to know that others care for them and enjoy them. Thats why people hold these possessions with them, to remember those who can not be next to them any longer. Unable to hold their loved one, they just need something to hold.