Relatioinships and Hope

Everyone goes through heart break every now  and then in their lives. Mine recently comes from a girl I've been dating for almost ten months. Our surprising end was a shock to my friends whom I had to tell and even more so to myself.

The feeling of a breakup is hard to explain because it is different to everyone. But I think the following paraphrased words of Regina Spector shows them the best:
     Its like forgetting the words to your favorite song. You can't believe it; you were always singing along. It was so easy and the words so sweet. You can't remember, as you try to move your feet attempting to feel the beat. You put your headphones on to drown out your mind and hear the song once more. It just doesn't sound the same.
It feels like that; so much more and nothing less.

Fortunately, for every broken heart, there is hope. Life is like a romantic movie where the protagonist has his/her heart broken in the beginning and somehow they find hope, then love by the end. They may have lost their identity for a time, their belief in love, or perhaps their will to even try, but they come back and find themselves in a place that is astonishingly better than before. Yesterday, I found hope.

I went to have an interview at the Target district office in Santa Fe Springs, Ca. and sat for nearly two hours in a room with about 20 other candidates while we waited for our names to be called. It was at the beginning I met a girl named Amy. Amy was from a rival school of my university, but I accepted her as a friend once she admitted she wish she attended mine! Rival school or not, we had great conversation together.

The conversation I had with Amy were hardly work related. Family, ethnicity, TV shows, schools and upbringing are only the topics I can remember. Our similar spirits allowed us to be honest with one another and led me to believe we could very well be friends outside the doors of the Target office.

At one point family and personal relationships came up. We laughed about how both of us had similar families: Very conservative, Christian, have a strong sense of family, aren't exactly "normal", whose strong willed and up front nature has a tendency to scare friends and even lovers away sometimes.

I mumbled something about how I've lost lovers because of family. They either didn't understand the up close and personal nature our my parents culture (which roots in their Italian and Mexican heritage - two very family oriented, loud and no need for personal space cultures) or mistook their actions for intentional aggression. Then I said hopefully I'll find someone that will put up with them as I do.

Then hope stepped in. Amy responded to my comment, "I'm sure you will."

Half heartedly I answer, "I hope so."

Amy pauses for a moment, looks me directly in the eyes and says, "No, YOU WILL!" I was amazed at her confidence, as she continued, "If that is the desire of your heart, God will give that to you. From what I can tell, you're a good person, and I'm sure God can see even more than you. Every day there is a wife somewhere putting up with the issues, complaints, words of their mother/father-in-law when they don't have to. They CHOOSE to. Why? Because they love their spouse. God will lead you to someone who will give you that kind of love. It WILL happen." Then she went back to looking around at everyone else and their conversations.

The confidence of Amy took me completely off guard. But she inspired me to believe in something new. I don't believe there is "one" girl for me  that God has been saving and preparing for me. That is just too silly. But what I do believe is that the Lord leads and He provides. I didn't think God would interfere with relationships, but if it is the desire of my heart, why not? Now, I have regained hope for my romantic future.