Uncertainty

Something to think about with the new year upon us...

Yesterday night I walked to my garage, which is behind my house and disconnected, and I put in my washer a load of laundry, and began to walk back to my house when a thought occurred to me. I used to be terrified of what was behind my house at night. I live in the country and when the sun went down, it got dark quick (obviously) unless there was a moonlit night. Between the back of my house and the inside of the garage there was no lights. And when I was young, that was the scariest 50 feet in the whole town. But now, I had walked to the garage and back, without even thinking about all the noises of the night or how dark it was. My young apprehensive self would have ran quickly to the inside of the garage to turn off the light and on the way back, planned my escape to the inside of the house from the inside of my garage within the safety of the light. Now I'm confident in my trip to and from the garage and I almost find the darkness and noises peaceful.

I think that our fears seem so big to us when were at a certain age, but I think that often all the fear we have sprouts from uncertainty. When were young, were afraid of the dark because we don't know what's out there. We're afraid to move on from high school, or from college because we don't know if we'll turn out right, or if we'll have a job when were done. When were in a relationship, we don't know how to tell the other person that we think they're the one, or 'i love you' because we don't know how to react. Or when we just left a relationship, we don't want to get in another one because we don't know if we'll get hurt again, if someone will truly love you for who you are, or if we'll ever find true happiness. Later we get concerned about if our child or children will turn out alright, because we don't know if they'll get ill, or if they'll be picked on in school or if they'll succeed in life. It is uncertainty that brings us our fear.

I heard a preacher once say that you can be completely afraid of something and still go through it. That is what courage is. Admitting you have fear of what may happen, but taking the initiative to not let that stop you from living your life. In a couple years or a few months or even a week or two, you'll look back at what you were afraid then and see that it really wasn't anything to be afraid of at all, and that where you are now, is better off because you went through it setting your fear aside. A leap of faith isn't a leap without fear, its a leap of letting go, and believing something will catch you. And if you fall, it simply wasn't meant to be; you know that what you did wasn't the right path, and you're even closer to what is for you. It is a success in my book! And even a greater success when you get back up and try something else. Don't let uncertainty stop you from going where you should be going.