Recently, I had the opportunity to go out on a overnight art trip with some friends. We went to the San Joaquin Gorge to spend the day and next morning painting nature and life in a real and abstract way. I found a comfortable spot next a to a friend on the bridge that crossed over the gorge. From here I sat and painted all that was around me and in me. It was funny to see that when I was doing some abstract work, what came out on the canvas was a clear description of what I was truly feeling in life at the moment. It was a clash of colors that made faint objects and a mixture of all that I had poured out all over. At that same time, I happened to start a deeper conversation about life, and came to the realization that what I was painting was exactly what I was feeling. Though consciously I had no idea what I was creating, my hands seemed to be telling my mind what was going on in my life. It was a interesting to me to see it when I finished, it was as if I was looking inside me and finally understand what was going on. But, moving on to what I initially wanted to write, whatever it was that I attempted to paint or draw I looked at with different eyes. The first time I saw everything I thought to myself, "Wow, this looks really nice!" Nothing to deep was going on when I looked at the rocks along the side of the water. But it was as I sat down and began to draw that I saw beauty. When I looked again at the same rocks, I noticed their beauty and uniqueness that was not there before. I looked and found beauty shining just at the light of the sun was shining down on everything. After that painting was done I moved on to the next one, but found it difficult to find something to draw. Because now with this different view I had about what was around me, everything looked beautiful and I had an odd feeling to paint it all! Maybe it was because I now was looking for the beauty and glamor amongst nature and not waiting for it to show itself to me. Then as I walked back later that night to my camp sight, everything seemed to have a luminous glow about it. Perhaps it was the sunset that made all the flowers, grass and trees have stronger color to them, or maybe it was that now that my eyes were open to the true beauty that was in every object around me. I began to think about where I could now see this new beauty. And as I mentioned earlier, I had a deep discussion with a friend about life, I thought what if I would look at life the way I am looking at all that is around me now. I look and I am finding a way the five blue flowers look beautiful among the hundreds of white flowers surrounding them, while still finding the beauty in the white flowers. I had earlier passed by this small field of flowers and continued walking thinking, "Oh, this is pretty." But now I stood and gazed at the these flowers, mesmerized by how everything flowed together so gracefully. Connecting this to my idea of finding beauty in life, I realized that I should not wait for beauty of life to show itself to me, but go looking for it and take time to enjoy it. I thought about this for a moment and saw that beauty is everywhere in my life too, even when there are things that seem to be a bit out of place as the five blue flowers did among the white flowers. I remember when I was younger, my mother used to tell me when I was unable to find something in the house that I need to go looking for it because it will not come to me. I now understand, and search for beauty in everyday life. With that, I can enjoy the beauty set before me that no one else may ever come to realize. Only if I look for it can I truly see where it is.
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