Today is February 10th 2013. It is the anniversary of my brother's death. For those of you who know me, you most likely don't know that I had a brother growing up. He has been my best kept secret for many years. I don't usually talk about him, because when if I bring him up, often times people ask questions about my brother (because they didn't know I had one) and I don't like telling the story of his death. But there are times that I do like to talk about him, because he is my inspiration.
As a little boy, there was no one else I looked up to more than my brother. He was the coolest, most popular, physically fit man I ever met. And I got to share a room with him! Even though it was his idea to name me Michael, he always called me "Best Friend," and honor I loved so much. He was the greatest man I ever met; the only person I ever wanted to truly wanted to be growing up.
He had some truly great moments which I had the fortune to witness. One of those events was a marathon. My brother ran one for his senior project for high school back in 2000. Not only did he run and get a finisher's trophy, he trained hard every day and earned himself a 3rd place in his division honor finishing with a time just over 3 hours and 20 min. He was incredible! Devoted to his mission, he finished in an amazing time for someone in his position. He was an inspiration.
13 years later, I ran a marathon. My entire reasoning for running the marathon was to be closer to my brother. I had a feeling that if I were to put myself in the same training, the same pain and the same grueling race, I would in fact be more connected to him than before, maybe even be more like him, like I dreamed of as a child.
When I crossed the finished line with my then girlfriend, she held me close in her arms as I began to fall over from the pain I had in my injured ankles. In this moment a rush of feelings flooded my heart and unfortunately I did not feel any closer to my brother. I mostly felt pain all over my legs, soreness in my body and just overall tired.
I remember my girlfriend asking me if I felt something special because of what I had just done. "You're amazing! Such a motivation!" I responded, "I don't feel amazing. I only feel pain." It was true, I didn't feel like I did anything special in the moment, although it was astonishingly hard to complete a 26.2 mile race. Moments later I received a Facebook message from a friend. which said, "I am so proud of you! You have now done something most of us will never do. You have shown your perseverance and heart. I felt very moved. You are an inspiration!!" I didn't really believe I was an inspiration, but within 5 minutes of finishing two people thought I was.
As I recovered in a medical tent getting attention for my ankles, I began to think about the monumental adventure I had just went through. As more time went on, I received congratulations from many people for the feat I had just accomplished. Suddenly I realized, I actually was something special. People were telling me I was an inspiration and a motivation for them to start doing something in there lives.
I saw my brother as an inspiration because of the dedication to the goal he set, the pain he went through in training and in performance, and the outcome of it all. Apparently people saw the same thing in me. Though I didn't feel like I was connecting to my brother in the moment, I was becoming more like him than I ever had before. Becoming more like my childhood idol wasn't easy, there was pain sweat and tears, but I made it. My brother was an inspiration, and I had become one too just like I've always wanted.
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