There are days, where no matter how hard you try, sometimes you just can see the big picture. And what you see now, just isn't right; because what you see is discomfort and uneasiness. It seems like nothing is going your way in your life, and you can't find a break in the string of defeats. You're stuck in this rut and you can't get out, because the walls are so high around you, you're left without hope. You're heart becomes broken from the continual crushing that life seems to be blowing your way. Its become your mindset that you won't ever move from this position because it continues to keep you helpless on the ground. Its seems like it will not stop, while days turn into weeks, weeks to months and then its years of what seems like bad luck. It's not fair. Its undeserved, but its happening. And the worst part, is that your heart begins to believe that there is no hope.
If you're like me, you begin to try to get yourself out of this. You change your diet, maybe the healthy lifestyle will inspire good things to happen; you change your outlook on life, because there is always someone in the world who is doing worse than you are or ever will be. You change your friends, because you're not the only one that goes through thing like this. You change your relationship with God, most times you start stepping back because you think He isn't doing something right. You change anything that you think that will help, but nothing seems to work, and your hopeless heart, has convinced your mind that there is nothing you can do.
I came to this point in my life recently, and I did pretty much everything that I listed above, minus a few, plus others. Finally, I went to a place that I should have gone to in the first place. I went to my Bible. I partially placed the blame on God for my position, so I took a step back thinking I could take a break and see what God would turn around for me. Honestly, there wasn't much of a difference. So I changed my ways again, and went deeper into God's Word. The funny thing is that in my first day in my readings, I found NOTHING. Nothing that was beneficial to my situation for that day. I am not sure how everyone else always finds their answers every time they open the Bible for the first time. I didn't allow that to stop me the next day when I went to read my Bible again. And in Day 2, I found the same answer as the day before, another dose of nothing. This medicine wasn't working.
It wasn't till my 4th day diving into the Word that I found something that was really helpful, and encouraging to my heart. This reminds me of a story in Elijah's life in 1 Kings, where God deliberately told Elijah to go somewhere so He could speak to him. When he got there, Elijah was greeted by a fierce wind, an earthquake and a fire, none of which were God speaking to him. But when he waited a little bit longer, God showed up and told Elijah what needed to be done.
Like Elijah I waited and the Lord showed up, finally. What I found on that fourth day was a gem of wisdom in Proverbs. Pro. 4.23 "Guard your heart more than anything else, because the source of your life flows from it." (GWT) I've come to the conclusion that the majority of what I've recently gone through is not really the fault of anyone else but me. Sure they have been the causation of all that happened, but for this struggle to continue in my life this long, can only be my fault. I let it attack my source of life, my heart. My heart believed there was no hope, and I acted upon it.
Yes I have reasons to be angry and disappointed, I didn't get the promotion I deserved, I am not living in the apartment complex that I wanted to be in, I don't have my closest friends directly by my side, I wasn't chosen for a leadership position, a relationship that I thought would be for the rest of my life failed, I'm stuck geographically because I do not have a vehicle the works, I was working under a boss that wasn't so ideal, I had an injury that even after hiking 8 miles up a mountain kept me from attempting the last quarter mile and reaching the peak.
Those are major disappointments that happened, but life isn't all disappointing. I still have a job in a poor economy, I'm living in an apartment that in many ways is better than what I originally wanted, though my closest friends aren't here, I have new friends that are deeming themselves as worthy people to be around and share life with, I've been given free time to work and better myself and figure out who I am, I received the opportunity to learn what I truly want/need/like in a mate, I've been giving the ability to make sure I am fully recovered and the chance to restore myself and train so when I attempt the previous hike, I wont be stopped.
My heart is seeing that life isn't so hopeless. It didn't take me one day to get to the hopeless funk I was in, and I'm sure it won't take one day to get out. But now that I know what I am up against, I know that I will be able to more properly protect my heart, my source of life, from the struggles of life. I will focus on the opportunity gained, rather than the one that is lost. Our decision for our outlook on life is much like any coin we have in our pockets. Each coin has two sides, Heads and Tails. We have the ability to turn the head so its face down, walk around with our hands in our pockets, waiting for the next event that we claim to be a victim of; or we can keep our heads up, protect our hearts and view life as a giver of unexpected opportunities.
Please, protect your heart.
If you're like me, you begin to try to get yourself out of this. You change your diet, maybe the healthy lifestyle will inspire good things to happen; you change your outlook on life, because there is always someone in the world who is doing worse than you are or ever will be. You change your friends, because you're not the only one that goes through thing like this. You change your relationship with God, most times you start stepping back because you think He isn't doing something right. You change anything that you think that will help, but nothing seems to work, and your hopeless heart, has convinced your mind that there is nothing you can do.
I came to this point in my life recently, and I did pretty much everything that I listed above, minus a few, plus others. Finally, I went to a place that I should have gone to in the first place. I went to my Bible. I partially placed the blame on God for my position, so I took a step back thinking I could take a break and see what God would turn around for me. Honestly, there wasn't much of a difference. So I changed my ways again, and went deeper into God's Word. The funny thing is that in my first day in my readings, I found NOTHING. Nothing that was beneficial to my situation for that day. I am not sure how everyone else always finds their answers every time they open the Bible for the first time. I didn't allow that to stop me the next day when I went to read my Bible again. And in Day 2, I found the same answer as the day before, another dose of nothing. This medicine wasn't working.
It wasn't till my 4th day diving into the Word that I found something that was really helpful, and encouraging to my heart. This reminds me of a story in Elijah's life in 1 Kings, where God deliberately told Elijah to go somewhere so He could speak to him. When he got there, Elijah was greeted by a fierce wind, an earthquake and a fire, none of which were God speaking to him. But when he waited a little bit longer, God showed up and told Elijah what needed to be done.
Like Elijah I waited and the Lord showed up, finally. What I found on that fourth day was a gem of wisdom in Proverbs. Pro. 4.23 "Guard your heart more than anything else, because the source of your life flows from it." (GWT) I've come to the conclusion that the majority of what I've recently gone through is not really the fault of anyone else but me. Sure they have been the causation of all that happened, but for this struggle to continue in my life this long, can only be my fault. I let it attack my source of life, my heart. My heart believed there was no hope, and I acted upon it.
Yes I have reasons to be angry and disappointed, I didn't get the promotion I deserved, I am not living in the apartment complex that I wanted to be in, I don't have my closest friends directly by my side, I wasn't chosen for a leadership position, a relationship that I thought would be for the rest of my life failed, I'm stuck geographically because I do not have a vehicle the works, I was working under a boss that wasn't so ideal, I had an injury that even after hiking 8 miles up a mountain kept me from attempting the last quarter mile and reaching the peak.
Those are major disappointments that happened, but life isn't all disappointing. I still have a job in a poor economy, I'm living in an apartment that in many ways is better than what I originally wanted, though my closest friends aren't here, I have new friends that are deeming themselves as worthy people to be around and share life with, I've been given free time to work and better myself and figure out who I am, I received the opportunity to learn what I truly want/need/like in a mate, I've been giving the ability to make sure I am fully recovered and the chance to restore myself and train so when I attempt the previous hike, I wont be stopped.
My heart is seeing that life isn't so hopeless. It didn't take me one day to get to the hopeless funk I was in, and I'm sure it won't take one day to get out. But now that I know what I am up against, I know that I will be able to more properly protect my heart, my source of life, from the struggles of life. I will focus on the opportunity gained, rather than the one that is lost. Our decision for our outlook on life is much like any coin we have in our pockets. Each coin has two sides, Heads and Tails. We have the ability to turn the head so its face down, walk around with our hands in our pockets, waiting for the next event that we claim to be a victim of; or we can keep our heads up, protect our hearts and view life as a giver of unexpected opportunities.
Please, protect your heart.
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