I'm Working On It

A friend of mine recently died. It interesting because I immediately thought about my good friend that passed long ago because both have died at a young age. Since that first death that was so close to me, I have not taken a liking to death to burial times. The mourning I can do and understand, but things like the viewing or memorial services, or the funeral themselves I find it very hard to actually make myself attend such events. in the past ten years or so, I've known quite a few people that have gone into the next life, but out of all of them, I think that I've been to only 1 funeral and just as many viewings. I can't stand it, it is not something that I can easily describe to people, but I can hardly bare it. I told someone that I didn't go to the prayer service for my friend the died recently, because I was working on how I feel about death and these sorts of events. He told me that when he was in college, he had his roommate and best friend die of a heart attack in his arms. That is heart breaking. Completely. I do not know what I would do in the position, if my best friend had died that way, than the way he did long ago. But my friend told me the same words, that he too was "working on it" and wouldn't mind talking about it if I ever needed to. To be honest, I don't want to talk to him, but I think it is definitely something nice to know that someone will be there for me that can understand the way I feel. Someone that has a connection to me. someone that can relate to my feelings as a human.