Unfortunately they are out there. Ugly and difficult people. I don't mean ugly in their looks, but in their attitude and spirit. To be specific, those people who we may never really get along with but seem to always be around. The difficult people that surround us in everyday life and can be looming in our inner circle of friends. Those people, whom we may absolutely love (or at least try to...) but slowly are starting to bother us more and more as the days go by. It's interesting those people. In half the cases the difficult people I struggle loving are the ones that are most like me. Perhaps in those particular ones, I see the flaws that I have and want them to fix themselves but they are getting the picture! In those cases I'm the one who needs to see what I'm missing. The ugly people are usually those who are least like me, the closest to the direct opposite of who I am, what I stand for and what I believe in. They are ugly because I think I am right and they are coming against me (some intentionally, others unintentionally) and if they are against me, they must be wrong, because I am always right. Not really. I am definitely not the smartest or wisest man on earth (though I have my moments) but still anything that comes against me is rude, obnoxious and unworthy of my time. That is not right.
I think that the problem with loving ugly and difficult people is that they are no within our control. We like to control the things around us so that it all goes perfectly well for us. Granted, not everyone desires the will to control all things around them, but there is some small measure that seems to be in people. That will to control seems to be one reason why there are ugly and difficult people around us. They aren't what we want them to be. We want them to be similar to us, but not the same. have enough diversity in them that they keep us entertained and find us interesting, but similar enough to enjoy the same things we are doing. We don't want to be arguing all the time, and we don't need to have another version of ourselves around (some of us can hardly handle ourselves!) That’s why I think the Ugly people opposite from us and the Difficult ones are the ones to similar to us.
Now that we've established that they are out there and one plausible reason why they exist, how can we love them? I think if we do three things, it will definitely help our situation.
1. Our minds can be lethal weapons! We can think terrible things about a person and they never know the true intentions that happen inside our brilliant brains. So, let’s use that brain power. Take a moment to think about the person and make a mental list of pros can cons about them. Most likely if you detest them the cons will outweigh the pros. Then the next step is too realize that if this person were to do the same to you, wouldn't their cons about you be just as long as the cons you thought about them. Every flaw you thought about them is matched with a flaw of your own. Step 1 is truly just realizing that we aren't perfect ourselves. That we can be that difficult and ugly person at times to others. Unknowingly and sometimes intentionally. We are not perfect, but that doesn’t mean that we can't take time to step outside of ourselves and truly assess how bad we really can be. If we try to be a better us, chances are the people we are around will not be so aggressive about us, but will work on themselves too.
2. Listen! Knowledge leads to understanding. Sometimes it’s hard to understand the way people are, the way they act and why they believe such. Best way to find out is to listen. Through listening and holding back speech, one can learn to admire the passion of another despite the disagreements that may be present. We may not agree with the people around us, but that does not mean we can take a moment to learn who they are. That knowledge and understanding may lead to peace in a relationship. Personally, I would choose to have peace than to be right any day.
3. Examine yourself! Often times the difficult and ugly people are that way because we are that way to them. Maybe they initially admired us, but because they were a little too different for us to handle we threw them out with yesterday's trash and don't even give them the common courtesy that everyone deserves, and from our treatment they people hostile towards us. We had unfortunately forced them to be that way.
I'm sure that there are other ways of loving ugly and difficult people. It is most definitely a difficult task, but when we live among them on this earth, we have to do something to stay away from hating one another. It cannot be ignored forever.
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