Cheating Death

Sometimes I tell people that I am invincible. I mean it more as a joke but, there are times when I actually believe it. Maybe its my youthfulness that makes me think that way. Or the fact that I have survived a number of times where my life was in potential danger. Then I think about mu family and the deaths that have happened throughout the family line and I see that I am still alive. All if that contributes to my thinking. Whether that's for the better or for worse I have yet to find out.
I need to remember that I am not Superman. As much as I'd like to be, I need to know that I am human. I have limits. Death is natural and will come upon me like it has every single person ever to live.  Not to be morbid, just honest. I dont believe that with this information you should stay indoors, hide yourself away so you don't get hurt, protect yourself at all cost or never do anything potentially dangerous. I believe that with this information that we should go out and jot be afraid of what may happen to us. Overall we should be careful and not completely careless, but don't let the protection of our life keep is from living our lives.
Sometimes its fear that keeps us from going out, because the unknown can be scary. But the unknown is the greatest thing ever because we can be the first ones to go through that unknown and live to tell the story of it.

Phase One

I told myself when I was younger that once I wrote 50 poems that in my mind were decent, I would send them to a publisher to be, well, publish, or at least looked at for the possibility. I've known for quite a while that I've had over 50 poems written, but I have not taken the time to organize them enough to put them in a presentable form. Why? I'm not sure. It's more of a nervousness because I don't know who would read actually read the poems. Not all of them are good in my view, perhaps that is just a writer's disgust for their own writing. But no matter what I think, I have entered Phase One. I have begun to organize and prepare these poems for processing from an editor and all that comes after. Its my first step towards being a published author. It is exciting, and I hope some one reads it. Wish me luck!

Habits

Dictionary.com says a habit is an acquired behavior pattern regularly followed until it has become almost involuntary: the habit of looking both ways before crossing the street.

Habits are intense! I've noticed that I have habits, some good and some bad, some that are neutral. But all of them are hard to change. Every Friday I play Ms. Pac Man at the local Laundromat with my roommate. I've been playing this game since I was a child, that it is natural for me to regularly do the same actions over and over again. But the game is completely random, the ghost move right only sometimes, other times they go up, left or down. But even when I see them coming straight towards me my habit keeps me from moving away and saving my life. It seems funny, but it is a struggle. When I looked at the definition I saw that it says that it is an ACQUIRED pattern REGULARLY FOLLOWED. That rings such a warning bell in my head. I find myself when pulling up my internet browser in the morning going straight to three sites: my school email, my personal email and Facebook. I do this every time! Its a habit that I consistently do! I used to hardly ever check my school email, but not that I'm a president of a club, the school email is a major way of communication. I acquired this habit by regularly going to these sites each morning to the point that I no longer think about it, my hands know exactly what they are doing and I hardly need to have my eyes open.

Habits are difficult to get rid of, clearly. Some people have terrible habits, ones that are killing them literally, ones that are morally disgusting, ones that keep themselves from ever becoming greater than who they are, ones that hold them back from attaining their potential. Its sad at times, but its true. On the other side, some people are great at what they do because they made their habits good. Its been said that great people don't do great things, they do the ordinary things greatly. You see the difference? They teach themselves to do the every day mundane better than they did it before, better than anyone else is doing it and thus it became a habit. They made greatness their habit and that is why that are said they are great. What your habits are is who you become. If you make your habit something that will kill you, then death will become you. If you make your habit to be successful, then success will follow. All you have to do is acquire it, one step at a time.

11/11/11

I like the cuteness of the "Make a Wish" idea on 11:11, but I always say what I've heard a friend once say, "Pray for your future spouse." And I really do pray for whoever they are, if there is one out there for me. Today is a monumental day though, for the make a wish people. Its 11/11/11! so fascinating. It doesn't happen often. I secretly wished for a long time that I could get married on this day, but as fate would have it, I don't even have a girlfriend. I remember when I was younger that I wanted to get married young. I was excited to start living life with a beautiful wife that would be just in love with me as I would be with her. We would travel everywhere, do everything and be completely happy. Today, my romantic ideal of getting married young has drifted away as my age has gotten higher. Though by many people's standards I am still young, but I have no one to complete my youthful desire with. It seems like the more days that pass the less likely that this dream will be fulfilled. It seems that this type of romantic idealistic dream of love has escaped my grasp too many times for me to care enough to go through the motions another time. I won't be getting married today, unfortunately. Though I will be looking into eyes of possibility, I know it won't happen because I've already been told no before from this opportunity. I am too devoted though to leave the ashes so soon without looking for a leftover piece of hope. Once I move on, I will sit on the stool of apathy until I am awakened by another desire. Perhaps the next one will grant my wish. If not, then I don't believe I'll say a prayer when 11:11 comes around next. I'll be wishing.

The Tragic Hero

Grand Valley State University in Michigan says, Tragedy depicts the downfall of a noble hero or heroine, usually through some combination of hubris, fate and the will of the gods. The Tragic hero's powerful wish to achieve some goal inevitable encounters limits, usually those of human frailty (flaws in reason, hubris, society), the gods (through oracles, prophets, fate), or nature. Aristotle says that the tragic hero should have a flaw and/or make some mistake. The hero need not die are the end but he/she must undergo a change of fortune.

This Tragedy is concerning heroes in stories. Classic stories like the Odyssey or the Iliad, where the heroes are there to save the day but things simply don't go their way and in the end there is still a mess to clean up because nothing was resolved. Its unfortunate, its real, its life. Sometimes I believe that, humans can be tragic heroes. Tragedy is around every corner, many times we are prepared and overcome it, but not every time. There are times where is just keeps coming and coming and coming, relentlessly! And all we can to is keep, keeping on. There are tragedies that will take a lifetime to defeat, making success even that much more sweet, but there are also some that we enter into at the beginning of our life, and are still present when we leave. This doesn't make us failures, there is nothing wrong with us, this is life. Life deals out something new everyday. Whether we are prepared for it or not, it will come. The important thing is to remember that a hero is always known for succeeding in everything, but being the one who tried to succeed when there looked like there was no hope. We can be heroes, but simply trying.

What They Said

They warned me not to, but I did it anyways.

They asked me if I was going to be alright, I said, "Of course, why wouldn't I be?"

They said it was going to be hard, but I didn't believe them.

They questioned my motives, but I couldn't respond with a good answer.

They seemed to want to protect me, but I don't need to be saved.

They believed that I was doing the wrong thing, but I felt like I needed to do it.

They told me it will hurt, but I thought I would be strong enough.

They recommended being patient, but I've been waiting for too long.

They advised to find something new, but the old was so good.

They knew where my heart was, but didn't see that I couldn't take it back.

They expressed their concern, but I'm doing this on my own.

They wished for the best, but I know the best won't happen.

They give me no hope, but I'll take false hope over nothing.

Today, I'll find out if They are right.

Remember, Remember the 5th of November, the Gun Powder Treason and plot.

I know of no reason, the Gun Powder Treason, should ever be forgot.